much as i hate to admit it, hatboy is the true master when it comes to invention.
two months ago, he built a time tunnel and through it we visited many milkmaids as they frolicked in the dark ages which weren’t at all dark. in fact, we needed to take our sunglasses for the most part.
our oakleys annoyed the local populace and twice we had to battle our way free of witch-hunters jealous of our shades.
this week, hatboy made a muppilator.
he first showed me the muppilator by leaping into my room, chortling with glee, aiming the hideous device at my brain and giving me a good chunky dose of radioactive muppet goodness, thus turning me into a muppet, complete with silly voice and bulging ping pong ball eyes.
“i’ll get you for this!” i screamed at my giggling super-sidekick.
“say that again!” he howled, falling to the floor and clutching at his belly. “you creepy little muppet! sing the rainbow song!”
i seized the muppilator from his shaking hands and switched the dial right up. he looked at me through a haze of laughter-induced tears and i was pleased to see his gleeful expression wiped clean from his face to be replaced by one of sheer horror. “no,” he croaked. “not on full-power! you wouldn’t. i was only kidding. come on, creepy, don’t zap me on full! no! no!”
i did. i zapped him on full, and watched with a kind of satisfaction as my too-smart-for-his-own-good super-sidekick turned into a tartan-clad muppet with a big mouth and red cotton-candy hair.
“now,” i said as he finished jumping up and down in fear. “where’s the reverse-button on this thing?”
“reverse-button?”
“oh no.”
two months ago, he built a time tunnel and through it we visited many milkmaids as they frolicked in the dark ages which weren’t at all dark. in fact, we needed to take our sunglasses for the most part.
our oakleys annoyed the local populace and twice we had to battle our way free of witch-hunters jealous of our shades.
this week, hatboy made a muppilator.
he first showed me the muppilator by leaping into my room, chortling with glee, aiming the hideous device at my brain and giving me a good chunky dose of radioactive muppet goodness, thus turning me into a muppet, complete with silly voice and bulging ping pong ball eyes.
“i’ll get you for this!” i screamed at my giggling super-sidekick.
“say that again!” he howled, falling to the floor and clutching at his belly. “you creepy little muppet! sing the rainbow song!”
i seized the muppilator from his shaking hands and switched the dial right up. he looked at me through a haze of laughter-induced tears and i was pleased to see his gleeful expression wiped clean from his face to be replaced by one of sheer horror. “no,” he croaked. “not on full-power! you wouldn’t. i was only kidding. come on, creepy, don’t zap me on full! no! no!”
i did. i zapped him on full, and watched with a kind of satisfaction as my too-smart-for-his-own-good super-sidekick turned into a tartan-clad muppet with a big mouth and red cotton-candy hair.
“now,” i said as he finished jumping up and down in fear. “where’s the reverse-button on this thing?”
“reverse-button?”
“oh no.”
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